We struggle. We make mistakes. We argue. But there is always support. We lift each other up. We apologize. We want the best for each other. We strive to make each other better; to make each other feel appreciated and respected. Our personal goals are aligned with what we want for our relationships. We are living for ourselves, but also for each other. I’ve grown into a person that appreciates quality over quantity, and that’s how I view my friendships.
Friends are crucial in every phase of life. If I did not have them I would be the ultimate cat lady – alone and afraid in a house full of cats.
The thing about friendship is that it is ever-changing.
The hardest part about growing up is deciding who is a good influence and who is not. Who will support me? Who will make me a better human? Who does the opposite? Who holds me back and turns me into someone I despise? Who are the people that hinder instead of encourage me?
The questions can be asked in reverse. Who counts on me and relies on me to help them, lift them up, and would rather me be brutally honest than spoon feed them what they want to hear?
Recently it was brought to my attention that someone I regarded as a friend did not feel comfortable relying on me. As difficult as that is to swallow, it was her truth. She chose to keep walls up because she knew she wasn’t going to like what I had to say. Sure, it hurt my feelings, but it made me a better person and it made the decision to slowly back away extraordinarily easy.
I like to fix what is broken. I believe in karma, not burning bridges, and remembering that life is too short to hold grudges. This is different. It is not a grudge, it just isn’t meant to be. Finding the difference between the two has been excruciating, but it helped me reach a point in my life where instead of having many people around, I only want people who want me to be around.
You never know someone until they are faced with adversity, even people you think you know. You also never know yourself until you are faced with adversity. How many people actually know you? I heard that question recently and thought long and hard about it. Those who do know me accept me for every bit of me that I am. Stubborn, opinionated, sarcastic, honest, and loyal. I will tell you how it is with not a care in the world if you like it or not. I have friends who know and appreciate that. Everyone has demons they are fighting and truths they run from. What is the point of having a friend that will fake it when you desperately need to hear the truth? It is time to remove people who weigh you down, even if it hurts and leaves you with a smaller social circle.
Quality is exponentially more important than quantity.