There is no bigger slap in the face than when a guy you’ve been dating, or like, says the words “just friends.”

It is literally the last thing we want to hear. It means either (a) you’re dating someone else and don’t have the balls to say it, or (b) you want to keep us around on a tight leash for when you’re lonely or bored.

I usually have no problem cutting people out when I know it’s the best thing for me. However, this particular person has been hard to “cut loose” for the lack of a better term. As I think about it and write it down for everyone to read I’m thinking about how hard it is as a woman to date in 2015.

Here are a few things I’ve come across as I navigate the dating world, and try to reevaluate my choice in men…

We don’t have the balls.

Somewhere between college and being an actual adult the power of dating swapped to the man. I am not sure why, but the ball never seems to be in our (women) court.

Play a better game.

You can’t be too available, you must not text right back, God forbid you actually call someone on the phone. Don’t forget to be funny, witty, and smart. Unfortunately this is what it has come down to (in my experience).

Emotionally unavailable.

Don’t get involved with someone who is emotionally unavailable. Just don’t do it. They won’t become available with you. They’ll become available for every person after you, but not you. Save yourself the time, effort, and severe pain.

Don’t believe what they say.

Only believe what they do.

The ones that want to go.

Let them go. Cut your losses and bow out as gracefully as you can. Maybe after a few mean texts and a couple middle fingers, but they’re deserved.

It’s all about your gut.

Your gut is right 99.9% of the time. Listen to it. Act on it. Don’t make excuses.

The right man will stay for the right reasons.

I can only base this off of what I see from my friends who are in happy, long-lasting relationships. It’s what gives us single girls hope.

When all else fails…

My friend told me, “take yourself out on a date.” Totally going to do that this week! Great advice. Oh and drink wine…lots of wine. Maybe listen to Adele’s new album. And remember…




Just Friends

2 thoughts on “Just Friends

  1. This is a very good look at society as a whole. I would say that people have given in to the fast food digital lifestyle. People don’t listen to vinyl anymore. They get their music and there muse in a fast paced digital world. Ms. Thomas I would say find a man that gives the best conversation and has a great album collection and he will have love. He will know patience he will be ever present and he will make you smile. Men that have this power don’t hurt with it they live to feel the love. Most spend their life looking through the dating pool trying to find a woman that has a great album collection and doesn’t like to text.

  2. Pingback: Why Do I Do This To Myself? | Defying Boundaries

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