I have spent many hours contemplating the word forgiveness.
One word, three syllables, and I’m totally confused by it.
I have forgiven many things. My best friend for breaking my nose, the woman who sued me for backing into her car in the Moe’s parking lot, and my dog for eating my freshly made turkey sandwich. You get the idea. In general people are forgiving, until the one unthinkable act causes you to really uncover the meaning of it.
Will I wake up one day and all of the sudden feel happiness towards those I’m trying to forgive? Should I go to therapy and talk to someone who has no idea what’s going on? Is it going to church on Sunday because He is suppose to forgive everything, so we should too?
I have tried to forgive. I have physically exhausted myself searching for forgiveness, and I just can’t grasp it.
I have come to the realization that forgiveness is deserved for the people you are truly willing to let back into your life. Forgiveness isn’t something that is taught. It’s something that you decide, over time, on your own. The most important thing about forgiveness is that it’s okay if you can’t forgive someone, even if others expect you to.
Forgiveness isn’t always just around the corner. If you ever find it let that person know. Until then, do the best you can.